The Roles in Marriage: Husbands

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What does the Lord require of a husband?

Husbands are to make sure that they are fulfilling their role in leading their wives with love. Husbands are to love their wives just as Christ loves the church (). The word for love goes beyond romantic affection. This word has to do with an unconditional loyalty and commitment – a love that keeps on loving. This kind of love is a picture of Christ’s love for His church (). What does this love look like?

A Sacrificial Love
It is not enough for a man to say, “I love you” to his wife with mere words. It needs to go beyond that. How did Christ express His love for the church? He “gave Himself for her” (). This was the greatest demonstration of love (). How do we know that Christ loves the church? He died for her. If the husband is going to love his wife, he needs to die to self. Life is not about his agenda, his priorities, his ambitions or his goals. He is to lead with a love towards  his wife that will be sacrificial. He must even be prepared to give up his actual life for her. That is sacrificial love!

A Sanctifying Love
We know Christ loves His church, because He not only was a sacrifice for her but He also sanctifies her. How is this done? By means of spiritual nurturing (). As the Lord Jesus Christ is concerned for the purity, integrity and holiness of His bride, the husband is to display a sanctifying love for his bride. He will make sure that he is assisting her in holiness. He will be concerned that she conducts her self in a God honouring way and he will be protective of her because he loves her. He will be studying the Scriptures so that he may lovingly open them to her and instruct her. He might need to put down the remote control and pick up a Bible. He must be concerned for his wife’s holiness. It is a huge and loving responsibility.

A Sensitive Love
If a husband is going to love his wife, it needs to be with a sensitive love (). We are sensitive to our bodies when they are in need. You are hungry, your stomach grumbles, you feed it. You are tired, you rest. You are thirsty, you drink. We become very sensitive to the cravings of our bodies. A husband must be sensitive towards his wife’s needs. They need to know their needs and study them so well, so that they will know in anticipation how to look out for her. Husbands need to display a sensitive love towards their wives – the same sensitivity they display to their own bodies in fulfilling various needs.

A Settled Love
The husband needs to let his wife know that he is loyal to her. Divorce ought not to be anything that is ever joked about in a Christian home. It is a word that should only be mentioned in sadness. The husband ought to display a settled love – a love that expresses loyalty and commitment ().

A godly husband must be man enough to declare and act upon the following: By the Lord’s enablementI am going to protect, preserve, provide for and adore my wife to the glory of God! 

Are you man enough?

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,

but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.

31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

Published by

Andrew Courtis

Andrew Courtis

ANDREW - Serves as Pastor of Hills Bible Church. I am married to Dianne and we have three children (Kate, Emma and Jack). I was born and raised in Melbourne, moved to Adelaide to undertake theological studies (BMin.), and have completed additional studies with the Australian College of Theology (MATh.). I have served in pastoral ministry in both Melbourne and Sydney and am a qualified school teacher. I am committed to expository preaching and making the word of God known and understood.